Category | Op Ed

Beware the witch doctors

Published on November 3, 2009 by Matthew Cole

In recent years, an irrational and dangerous new fad has begun to emerge in the West. While some Americans have always turned to homespun remedies when the benefits of modern medicine were not widely available, this new excitement over alternative medicine is infused with New Age mysticism and superstition. Although I recognize that America’s health care system has shortcomings, I don’t think turning to New Age quacks for health care is the solution.

The funny thing about “alternative” medicine is that if it had any scientific merit whatsoever, it would cease to be “alternative,” as licensed doctors would begin to use these treatments as soon as the FDA granted approval.

Mistrust of modern medicine may be precisely why so many people buy into alternative nonsense. A now discredited report that linked vaccinations with autism certainly didn’t help inspire confidence in the medical establishment. Patients who visit a hospital are often intimidated by the sterile environment. Nevermind that the doctors who work in such hospitals had to go through costly medical school and a long residency in order to be allowed to practice.

Some people would rather be treated by a graduate from the School of Quackery (or someone who has read one of Deepak Chopra’s books) if that environment has whale noises playing in the background or images of Hindu deities plastered all over the walls. New Age medicine is a fusion between traditional Eastern practices and drug-induced attempts to understand quantum theory.

The great physicist Richard Feynman once remarked in a bit of self-deprecating humor, “If you think you understand quantum theory, you don’t understand quantum theory.” There is perhaps no better person to prove the accuracy of this joke than philosopher and alternative medicine advocate Deepak Chopra.

Quantum theory accounts for the anomalous behavior of light and atoms. Chopra misconstrues this to reach the absurd conclusion that only a person’s thoughts are real, and that the universe is really just a product of a cosmic mind to which we are all connected. While this superstitious nonsense is great for making an anti-drug commercial, it’s not very good science.

Chopra advocates a form of alternative medicine called “quantum healing.” For this advocacy, he has won the satirical “Ig Nobel Prize.” The scientific principle of “Occam’s Razor” states that when there are multiple explanations for the same phenomenon, the explanation that requires the fewest unproven assumptions is usually best. Modern medicine works just fine without the unnecessary assumption of a cosmic mind and an illusory universe.

One common form of alternative medicine is homeopathy, which is the process of diluting substances in water until it disappears completely. Water is said to possess “memory” of these substances, but this claim is not based in fact.

Homeopathy operates on the principle that “like cures like.” This is perhaps a misunderstanding of the way vaccines improve a person’s immune system by introducing a harmless viral strain. Selling someone a bottle of water that merely contains the diluted “memory” of a non-organic substance is a totally different matter.

Homeopathy is not even the most ridiculous practice out there. Chakra therapy gets that honor. It is asserted by these practitioners that the human body contains seven energy vortices called “chakras.” Black holes are sometimes used metaphorically to describe chakras, although this is a misunderstanding of the way black holes operate.

Chakra treatment involves having a patient subjected to a barrage of seven multicolored flashing lights. This is said to energize the chakras and thus heal a variety of maladies. This laughable nonsense must surely rely on the placebo effect, given the gullibility (or desperation) of the patients.

Not all alternative medicine is ridiculous. Acupuncture may hold promise, but it needs more clinical testing. Reflexology may also be worthwhile, even if the claim of reflexologists to manipulate “qi” (life energy) is totally unscientific.

Of course, the wisdom of using such techniques should be determined by scientists, not witch doctors. Techniques that are proven to be beneficial should no longer be considered “alternative.”

Those who buy into this alternative medicine hype often fall for the fallacy that “traditional” is superior to modern. Bloodletting is also a traditional practice, but it isn’t mysterious enough for curious Westerners. While many in the West look for traditional Eastern remedies, many in India are abandoning superstition for real medicine. Meanwhile, unlicensed witch doctors in the West continue to prey upon the gullibility of desperate patients.